Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Master's of the Arts

Written on the Subway, en route to class. To the tune of "Master of the House" from Les Miserables. Those who don't know the tune, find it here.

As for your old college degree,
Forget all you know,
Just wait and see!

Seldom will you find training for your mind
Where you'll feel you belong and yet be so confined.

The workload is immense
Classmates are intense
And all the time your waiting for your recompense!

Think that you can write a paper?
How about eleven more?
Already you're a-flailin' about failin' and you're barely in the door.

Master's of the Arts
Think it might be wise
To make a decent schedule
And categorize
Tuesdays ten to five
Wednesdays nine to one
Couple hours' reading and you think you're done
Sit down to finish your homework,
All of this just goes to show:

Did you get some sleep?
Hope that you did,
or what you'll see will make you flip your lid.
Here, there is no rest, every path's been tried,
And they'll keep charging fees until your brain is fried.

Charge you first for class, insurance isn't last,
Some copies and some textbooks to make sure you pass.
Better not be late, write papers on time,
If you want the prof to grade it, better get in line,
Remember, once you get a failure,
There's just no way to delete,
Ever since they passed the landing on banning the incomplete!

Master's of the Arts
That's your new degree,
An exercise in patience and in sanity,
Workload is immense, classmates are intense
All the while you're hoping it'll all make sense,
Won't matter if you got your bachelor's
In education or pre-med,
Soon enough you're gonna look like you're one of the living dead.

Master's of the Arts is eating up my life
No matter how I plan it my schedule's just strife.
I go to bed on time, never waste an hour
Still I forget to eat and to turn off the shower
As for keeping this blog going,
How, you ask, d'you got the time?
It's cheaper than a prescription
And my description is it's keeping me in line!

Master's of the Arts,
Think it might be wise
To make a decent schedule and prioritize!
Tuesdays ten to five
Wednesdays nine to one
Do all of your homework til (you pray) you're done!

All these faces look depressed, no one's cleaning up this mess!


  1. How did you have time to compose this perfectly to Thénardier's best song? Kudos!

  2. You're brilliant. (said Elisheva Giventer)

  3. Quite clever and entertaining as always. I wonder if you thought of a sequel for a PhD.

  4. 1. And this is precisely why I'll be doing a part-time MBA program. In the hazy future. :P

    2. I should purchase a spa package for your birthday so you can relax a bit...