Everything is new.
Despite me physically living in the same neighborhood I did last year, everything feels oddly different now. Like I'm living on a different plane of existence. Well, of course I am. Last year, I was between college and grad school, taking GREs, applying, stressing about acceptance letters, commuting via subway to Brooklyn every day for a part-time job that felt full-time.
(And as I mentioned in Arbitribe once upon a time, thinking too much can invite drooling dragons into your psyche.)
Which brings me to this year. As an observant Jew, my new year comes in September this year. Right now is the Hebrew/Jewish/Lunar month of Elul, the month in which we reflect on the events and actions of the past year and atone for those we regret or maybe shouldn't have done. We look ahead to the upcoming year and decide what we're going to change, and how we're going to live. What a great time to start a new blog. Looking back on my old, beloved one, and looking ahead to a new life ahead of me.
My beloved old blog (and its logo one of my fellow contributors said looked like the letter 'A' throwing up):
So now I go into this new year. Over the course of the summer, three of my best friends moved on to new cities or new lives. For some, the change was long-foreseen and went exactly the way I thought it would. In other cases, the move brought with it some very quick and unexpected changes in dynamic. These are changes I've got to adjust to, but then again, that's what growing up is. I don't care if I'm a grad student with a job and rent to pay. I'm still growing up, and I've got quite a way to go (doesn't everyone?). And now, in some ways, I feel as though I'm setting off on my own, even though most of my close friends are still nearby. There's definitely a presence that's missing.
I'm in the same apartment, but occupying new space as I trade my mint-green bedroom for a smaller teal one. In direct opposition to my too-free-so-I-think schedule of last year, I've got a jam-packed calendar now. Classes, hundreds of pages of reading, work, fellowship, and artwork to contend with. A blog that goes through a lot less editing and scheduling. And with the friends I've still got close by there to distract me in my free time, it certainly looks like thinking is something I won't especially have time for.
And thank G-d for that.